Middle age crisis
"40 years old - a woman's age" - says a Russian proverb.
She was born probably in the days when the average life expectancy
It was not nearly two times lower than now, and the men lived longer
women. Out of habit, and now many believe the 40-year milestone
critical. And someone even says this round date. just in
case, so as not to hurt yourself.
Why in the "middle-aged" woman "take out" of depression
disappointed (by the way, and men, too), knocking at the door of the disease? what
It happens to human physiology? And how to deal with "the crisis
magpie"? The answers psychotherapist highest category,
PhD, Researcher, Department of Medical
Psychology of the Russian Scientific Center for Restorative Medicine and
Balneology, assistant professor of nervous diseases increase the Institute
qualification of the Federal Medical-Biological Agency of the Russian Federation Ministry of Health Mikhail
- Michael V., meaning "forty crisis"? What is it manifests itself when it comes to the emotional state of a person?
- Painful disorder manifested
depression, anxiety and various fears and negative thoughts,
insomnia, memory impairment, - all of these symptoms varying
degree inherent in the people "crisis period". 40 years - it's the middle
life, and naturally wish to summarize. If a person is satisfied
reached, the so-called "crisis of forty," he may not have noticed.
And if the "not much has come true" (whether in personal life, career)
psychological discomfort guaranteed. What will it be in a particular
person to assume difficult.
- But the physical condition of the person changes.
- "Crisis forty" women may coincide with premenopausal
from 40 to 50 years: ovarian function gradually fades, falls products
female hormones, proportional to the ratio of female and
changes in the male organism. And the age-related changes, as they say,
on the face. Woman changes in appearance: the face becomes more serious,
anxious, not burn the eyes appear first gray hair and wrinkles.
I even walk, the fair sex in this
aged more confident. Is categorical in his judgments.
- But at this time begin to appear age-related diseases: problems
vision, dental, hypertension, early signs of cerebral ischemia
brain, especially those who work a lot and sitting a little move.
A man often begins to tire. At best, this is just the harbingers
diseases. But often at this age overtake heart attacks, strokes and
even cancer - if the person himself "launched" in
the stings of all the pedals, aiming for a career, to the creation of material
benefits. Not resting or not resting at all. Accumulate and consequences
bad habits: smoking, alcohol.
- But often successful
in the career woman she is alone, without family, without children. And the inevitable
revaluation of values: It's all saved - an apartment, a car,
- I know the type of women, they are my frequent patients.
- And how do you, the therapist, helping them get out of the crisis?
- After listening to the visitor, with her analyze its internal
psychological conflicts, helping to understand why this is happening and
how to get out of it. I use cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy.
Simply - psychotherapy common sense, rational approach to life. On
this bill has special techniques, training programs. I use
and methods of transactional analysis - one of the directions
I suggest to come down from their ivory tower and enjoy
that is. But not only. In principle, 40 years - the most productive
age. Still not too late to start over, in private life, including -
get married, have a baby. You can change your job, if you want, place
residence. Learn what what is the soul. After all, there is still good
half of life! And if a woman understands that the reason itself, it
she begins to change himself.
- And if you do not start?
- That will begin psychosomatic diseases, which are based on these
conflicts. Depression, hypertension, peptic ulcer
and duodenal ulcer, ischemic heart disease, failure
cerebral circulation. The next stage - heart attacks and strokes.
- Michael V., but the crisis happens and the masculine. How is it different from a female?
- Men also grow old, do not have that swagger, more fatigue sets in. Leather
It becomes drier, muscles not as elastic. libido falls happen
failure in bed. I want to prove to everyone, especially to himself,
that it was an accident. What I am still young and absolutely healthy. make up
up, and the body fails. Caring men from families to younger
companions - this is an attempt to prove that it is not.
- More young partner from the medical point of view for a man - any good?
- There are pluses and minuses. In psychological terms, the first couple,
of course, plus - the second youth: a surge of emotion, the desire to do
sports, even more to keep pace. But only for the first couple. Splash even
positive emotions man, to put it mildly, not very young and can
harm: depletes the body, zastavlyaetego to the limit forces.
The effects may be the best way. Most likely,
so men often return back to normal life.
- But there is a category of men who in this age of stress, frustration, dissatisfaction flee alcohol.
- At long systematic reception of alcohol formed persistent
addictive, and then addiction. First, one bottle of beer (or 100
grammes of vodka, cognac, brandy), and then two or three bottles of beer and
300-500grammov something stronger. A few months later, this is not enough. AT
resulting problems are not solved, but only multiply.
- And what about the advice of some doctors to drink only "health" in the day a glass of wine or 40 grams of vodka?
- I am totally against the use of alcohol as a drug. If
some people think that alcohol helps "relieves stress" and that he
method often uses - he has every chance of becoming an alcoholic.
-And That in this case it is better to do?
- Any person in my childhood was a dream, some desire that is not
could implement. Go back to their roots, to the hobby. Read
writing, dancing, cross stitching, travel, finally. Hobby
It helps to realize themselves, to find like-minded people. Well, if there is
the opportunity to meet people with whom to associate professional
interests or hobbies. Employment - for the money, and communication outside of work - for
soul. Community of interest and will give you a fitness club, motorists club,
Kennel club, diving. Someone floated on boats,
someone riding a horse (skating, cycling), someone starts to sing
in the choir. But you never know about places to go and something to do?
to 42 year. On weekends and in the morning I ride a bike in the park.
I am a member of the professional community of psychotherapists. We are not going to
only to discuss business, everyone has the opportunity
share personal issues and obtain support.
remember that forty crisis, like any crisis - is not only a problem,
but also opportunities. Having survived the crisis, people become more
prepared for later life, set realistic targets, with
look to the future.