In our time, all experts believe the lossa loved one (death, severe crippling disease, love drama, long forced separation), the most powerful of the stressors that only a person can experience. General poctarenie population and abundance of life conflicts turns the mountain into everyday reality. Unfortunately, we did get used to it - like dirt in the street, drinking mother or son-Losers.
But really to no pain to get usedimpossible. In addition to anxiety and angst, people pursuing a nagging feeling of guilt (did not finish, did not apologize, did not say goodbye), continuous playback of a mental dialogue with the departed, uncomfortable dreams. Gradually unbearable mental stress of painful frustration turns into an unconscious personal installation - a kind of "life motto," and begins to rebuild the "inside" behavior had undergone trouble.
Some completely reject the majority of speciesactivity type "scalded milk - I blow on the water." Some transform your home and yourself in the "mausoleum" idealized past with a complete rejection of the simple and natural pleasures of life. Someone becomes envious misanthrope, constantly dissatisfied and even aggressive to everything around him. Many people follow the path of outright self-destruction - alcohol, breaking all previous social contacts ( "recalls the irreparable"), destructive cults, and fanatical mysticism. How to help these people?
Education and common decent (do not be surprised!) With respect to losses in the first place to the death - a problem for some of the younger generation, however, the introduction of mental culture in the general population and more people will treat her without fear and contempt - just as a total life, remembering the line of Ecclesiastes: "The day of death better birthday. " I understand it now can share their experiences and feelings with others without too much tragedy and sweetness. In this atmosphere, the suffering will not be fixed at a loss for too long, structurally embed it in your own experience and be able to help someone you know.
In addition to good and sane relationshipothers, to help survivors of the loss sverhordinarnogo ready to help professionals from the network "helplines". Telephone communication by "anonymity" interlocutors allows easier to talk, to share a deep secret, to take advice. If in the course of a telephone conversation a person feels intention to continue to work on the problem, it may make an appointment at the following division Crisis Network - Cabinet medical and psychological assistance. There Brigadier work by psychotherapists, psychologists, social workers. Suffering can undergo a series of individual or group psychotherapy meetings.
Psychotherapy as an art "useful conversation"facilitates the natural psychological reaction to proceed loss (panic - denial - the search for a compromise - calm), "clean" it from the secondary and is not always true conclusions, lets learn from the experiences of others and to receive "feedback".
Sometimes the actual psychotherapeuticintervention is not enough, and then suffering proposed course of treatment in a hospital crisis (neurosis clinic) or observation of a therapist (psychiatrist) in the community (community health centers and mental hospital). This is connected to psychotherapy and psychopharmacological treatment (antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications).
An important factor in the healing of hospitalizationa guard man from traumatic external environment, a constant reminder of what happened misfortune. In any case, this appeal will be shown: if you are elderly and alone if you have experienced a few losses in a short time, if you want to drown grief in the dope, if do not want to live, if the pain does not let you have more than six months, or only increased with time .
It is difficult, almost impossible to give a universalrecommendation suffered a grief - too many deeply personal and intimate enclosed in each loss. However, as always, a strong source of support for sufferers are time-tested values - the world's religions, classical literature and music, creative expression (journaling, drawing, poetry, crafts) and communion with nature.
The main healing factor willthe presence of a number of the interlocutor (whether it be a friend, a doctor or a priest) - tolerant without fanaticism, without a heart sweetness and sensible without cynicism. Are you - are not alone in this world, and you are eligible for assistance.