The birth of a child immediately causes a storm of emotions from all family members. However, if the child has mental retardation, the intensity in the family increases and all its members need help to take such a child, to understand its needs.
Content
For the family
The birth of a child immediately causes a storm of emotions from all family members. At first, the newborn enjoys high attention. Over time, the situation is included in the usual channel: parents, other children, grandmother and grandfather return to their familiar affairs and duties. Need to change the family structure so that everyone learned to live in a new way. However, if the child has mental retardation, as in your case, the intensity in the family increases and all its members need help to take such a child, to understand its needs and those requirements that are made to his family in general. «I remember that when our pediatrician told us that Karmen Daun's Syndrome, we immediately took possession of many emotions, and we asked themselves numerous questions like: «What exactly means Down syndrome? What is trisomy 21?» We shared these feelings and questions with many parents, as they consisted of a group of receptional support for new parents. Began to feel a certain separation from a normal life, from family relationships, from social contacts. It took a more and less long period of time so that this deep wound began to.
The birth of a child with mental retardation is not a reason for the family to give up their social and professional interests. Sometimes with the birth of such a child, the mother may have a sense of moral debt, forcing it to stay at home and care for the child, without having to go to work. But it can be argued that, as a rule, at the breast, children with mental retardation do not need more attention than ordinary children. And if the mother has the need or she wants to continue working outside the house, then she should not have reasons to refuse himself. She can arrange her child as any other baby at that age, in Nursery, where there will be an appropriate care for him, or entrust to care for him to someone from the neighbors. It is important that with each family member, as far as possible, continued to engage in its daily affairs.
In other cases, the doctor is required months or years to determine the diagnosis of the child. In this situation, a very difficult period comes for a family collective. Need to try to frequent medical advice, checks and analyzes as little as possible violated the familiar life of the family, especially if you have more children who can feel deprived of attention. When, in the end, the diagnosis of mental retardation is already installed, then simultaneously with the primary shock reaction described above, parents sometimes experience some relief by learning the truth. From this point on, it is already possible to specifically help the child in its development without any doubts, wires and pondays. But we can never forget that this child is a disabled person - the same family member, like everyone else, with the same as the rest, rights and obligations. So we must perceive it in the family. When a child with mental retardation becomes older, he requires more attention, patience and understanding from each of the family members, since he longest appropriates the simplest skills. The time comes to go to school, and parents need to find a suitable college in their area, collect a child to classes, how do parents of other children do, take him to school or to the school bus doors.
As soon as you truly learn to take your child-disabled person, what it is, stress will decrease. For many parents, the appearance of a disabled child served as a reason for the fact that these parents began to better deal with themselves, to communicate more with loved ones; To the fact that they had a striving for mutual support, they were able to evaluate people regardless of their intellectual abilities or success in life, as well as experiencing more respect for all people.
For relatives
Let's start with the fact that the family is a family, and not a medical center. Some parents driven by a hot desire to overcome the disability of the child, in addition to their direct duties, impose on themselves and on their relatives of additional concerns about his treatment. Thus, they are damaged not only by their own interests, but also the interests of other family members. It happens that the mother or father of the child with mental retardation feels that this child seems to be out of his family. Other children have the impression that they can not go out with friends, because «exercises» with brother or sister constantly take away weight. And they suddenly begin to feel their helplessness, which prevents them from the right relationship with the baby, who, as it were, the culprit of this feeling. Cliff Canningham in his book «Down syndrome, introduction for parents» Indicates: «We did not meet significant shifts from conducting intense exercises, except for the development of specific behavioral reactions that require these classes. We also did not meet cases when the baby remained lifelong disabled, if he did not receive sufficient stimulation in the first months or in the first year of life».
In family life, it is important to keep the balance between necessity «Stimulation» (exercises, restoration programs) child with mental retardation and daily needs of other family members. The fact that the child will not be in some special occupation, he will be able to fill in a happy and balanced family, where it loves and understand. «My excessive concerns turned into a custody, because of which I can not fully educate you as a person. I have been told: «Do you need him?!» Of course, I need you! But I would like you to be different, and it is very difficult, even with all my patience. I want to keep your hand, and keep your hand in my own, to give you confidence, but teach you to walk yourself. However, I always pretended to be ashamed when I was satisfied only because others did not notice your disability».
For a marital life
The birth of a disabled child should not be the cause of the divorce of spouses. Despite the fact that the child with mental retardation creates the voltage of relations between them, but if the spouses really love each other and know how to express their feelings, then, naturally, that this situation is even more unwinding them and they will support each other to together care, educate and help the child. If their relationships are crash if it is difficult for them to find a common language with each other, if their love is already becoming little to get into hatred, then the crisis easily passes into the final break after the child is diagnosed that serves as a reason for divorce. This is the easiest excuse.
To solve any children
The birth of a child with mental retardation does not necessarily imply a refusal to have more children. However, relatively often parents do not solve it. In many cases, the decision not to have more children is dictated by the fear of the fact that the same problem will repeat with the next pregnancy. But you do not need to worry. Very rare Down syndrome is inherited. And such cases are always determined by the holding of chromosomal analysis.
Child parents with Down syndrome is not hereditary form (such forms are 98% of patients with children) have 2% of the risk to make a second child with the same disease in relation to the main population. As we have talked above, the percentage of the risk of the child's light with Down syndrome among the main population increases depending on the age of a pregnant woman. Such an increase in risk is solely from parents who already have a child with an unetebled Dauna syndrome. The brothers and sisters of a child with this form of illness, as well as the other family members there is no high risk to have children with Down syndrome. Their risk exactly the same as the main population.
In addition, it is possible to establish a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome. It is established during pregnancy by studying chromosomes of the embryo in the oilyophust fluid. The accumulator fluid is extracted by amniocentesis from 16 to 19 weeks of pregnancy. Amniocentesis is a study of an oily fluid. Amniocentesis does not increase the risk of miscarriage, as it is carried out under the control of ultrasound an experienced doctor. If the embryo is struck by Down syndrome, only parents will decide whether to leave pregnancy or resort to the therapeutic abortion. Amniocentesis is held in all pregnant women who have a child with Down syndrome, or those older than 35 years old. Before making decisions to have more children, it is necessary that parents get comprehensive medical information, since there are many different probabilities:
In some cases, in genetic consultation, you will be said to how the percentage of the likelihood is that the disease can repeat from the future child.
In addition, in addition to the already mentioned Down syndrome, it can be diagnosed with accuracy during pregnancy such varieties of mental backwardness, such as men's mental retardation due to the instability of the chromosome «NS», or congenital hydrocephalium. Thus, making sure that the germ is struck by one of these diseases, parents may be able to choose in accordance with existing legislation, whether pregnancy should preserve or demand the therapeutic abortion.
There are cases when mental retardation is caused by the reasons, which are not able to establish modern medicine. And the doctor will not be able to say what the risk of her occurrence of your future child. We once again want to remind parents so that they do not listen to the opinions and judgments of people who are not professionals, and before accepting any decision, addressed the necessary information to the experienced specialist. As soon as you are well informed about whether to have or not to have other children, the final decision will remain for you. No one is obliged to solve it for you!
Caring for child
Each child, regardless of whether he has mental retardation or not, is unique in its own way. All children need love and confession so that they can develop their own positive image. Our own image depends mostly from how we are perceived by those people, the opinions we value. If these people relate to us in a good and cardio, it means everything is in order, and we have our own positive image. Similarly, parents can contribute to the development of a child of his own positive image, loving the child, what it is, demonstrating his love and noticing the successes and achievements that he does. For a child with mental retardation, it is extremely important that in the family to it treated with warmth and heartiness.
Most of these children may have an improvement from studying on early learning programs. Experts should recommend parents, what kind of stimulation program will be the most appropriate in each case. They can also inform the time to start it; about its duration and about the place of. Some exercises for the development of the child are very simple, and they can be included in family games. But it should be avoided that they are burdensome for parents, as it hurts the kind relationship of parents and a child.
When the school period comes, parents need to keep in mind that now we have all private and public colleges adopted programs for children with special needs. In any school, whatever you choose, your child will have attention, he will receive appropriate education and training. This form of training allows children with disabilities to be among healthy children, as well as learn from communicating with peers who also have certain problems. According to the educational standards of the hypudo, a boy or a girl with mental retardation should be trained in as much as possible surroundings, that is, in the usual average educational school, like other children, because, although they are much slower to assimilate the material and do not reach the average class, but are laid big skills and learn better, being together with peers. A child with mental retardation may need help when performing certain school tasks and in adapting school programs to its special educational needs.
For this reason, it is necessary that parents come into contact with the Commission on the formation of their area, and it was able to determine the level of development and needs of their son or daughter and help them, as far as possible, choose a suitable school.
In addition to visiting school, the child must play, have fun and participate in many other affairs. No need to forget that a child with mental retardation is also learning, imitating others, and he will be very useful to communicate with other children at home, in the park, lessons and on the street. Keep leaving people with intelligence disorders - this is the best way to not give opportunities to develop their abilities and at the same time allow society to continue to treat such people with disregard and reject them.
Like any other child, the kid with mental retardation should also master the skills of the right behavior, and you need to demand that he led to adequately atmunication. Such children are sometimes unnecessarily stubborn, and in working with them it is necessary to take patience and tact. The overwhelming majority of these children can gain self-skills in personal and public life, which will allow them to develop normally in the usual environment. The excess of parents, brothers, sisters and nannies will only contribute to a greater dependence of the person with the mental retardation of others and prevent him to work out these minimum foundations and responsibilities, which such a person can live a more independent life.
Later, when the child is already adults, it is necessary to find him a place of work. People with mental retardation can normally and with full responsibility to perform work if it is adequate to their capabilities. Work and earnings, in theother way, will bring them great satisfaction and strengthen their respect for themselves.
What will be our child? What will be the degree of his mental retardation? How will it become when he grows? What care will need? … These issues are the same for all parents of children with mental retardation. They cannot be answered at the moment.
Social support
In the country of Basque since 1960, there are associations of families in defense of people with mental retardation.
In addition, in addition to promoting all interested in obtaining information, they are given the opportunity to enter into a so-called group of new parents. This is a group of support and mutual assistance for parents who recently learned that their child has mental retardation.
A greater exchange of experience occurs at the introductory meetings organized to receive new parents. Every time a new family is entering the association, it can get acquainted with other parents who have greater experience, which will treat it warmly and in relation to new members of the group.
Introductory meetings, among other things, suggest moral support for parents from «Support groups», specially prepared for this. With the help of such contacts, new parents cease to consider themselves the most unhappy, the world opens in front of them on the other, bright, side. And they understand that he is not so terrible as they seemed before.
Exchange of experience, a deep understanding of the situation arising at the turn of two reality, the old stunned and new brighter, allows a new family to calm down and without constraint and fear to tell his story to the group of parents who have already passed through these experiences and which will not only be able to understand everything, but also At first, assist child care. The experience of these groups gives the strength to new parents who decided to turn face to life.
Your child's health can disturb you, especially if he had congenital anomalies at the first examinations of the doctor. Achievements of medicine and surgery, in particular, in our time so impressive that with their help you can eliminate any defects that were previously recognized as notion. Trust the attending pediatrician, and under his leadership, other doctors will conduct surveys that require your child.
