dependence, very often tormented by the question - and whether it is impossible to quietly
the drinker something to pour or pour in the food, so that he once
and for all lost interest in the taste of alcohol? In fact, such funds
there, but their use is prohibited by the Criminal Code, as they usual one
unpleasant side effect - with an interest in alcohol they take
life because they are poisons. But other equally effective
preparations medicine has not yet been invented.
In addition, any
if they would have had to pour, pour each day to
to maintain the desired level of drug in the blood. The fact is that
Alcoholism is a disease, has a very unpleasant
feature - until the patient does not want to get rid of the addiction
to the bottle, it will not help anyone, even the most qualified
Moreover, against the background of the daily stress of living near
with heavy drinkers loved one develops his relatives
such a state as codependency (co-dependence).
What is codependency relatives of alcoholics
and the concept for the Russian ear is new and unusual. In fact, our
the country it appeared relatively recently, but abroad, mainly
in the US, about codependency speak and write the 70-ies of the last century.
aside from rigorous definitions, short essence of the phenomenon can be explained by
as follows: alcoholic dependent on alcohol, and his relatives -
from the alcoholic. Most often suffer from codependency wife
and children. They try to constantly monitor the behavior of the drinker,
"Dedicate their lives to save him," yielding to the idea fanaticism
and fury, without a trace. In fact, such behavior only
It aggravates the situation and did not contribute to the formation of an alcoholic
motivation for treatment.
Codependency is different from the usual care and concern for loved ones
it is their pathological, irrational
and impulsive action codependent, reduced emotional background
(Sometimes described as "emotional numbness"), as well as for
alcoholic, for the co-dependent characteristic of denying the existence of the problem,
self-deception, delusion. In the case of long-term co-dependency can
shape and physical (or rather, psychosomatic) disease.
It links in codependency, according to the majority of foreign and domestic
Professionals - low self-esteem. The source of its might be a few -
most often it is formed from people who have themselves been significant
problems in childhood (dysfunctional family, alcoholism of one or both
parents, physical and psychological injuries in school
and on the street). Often the source of violence, which contributes to an underestimation
self-esteem, it is for his family and himself drinking. In this case
can be formed by the so-called "vicious circle", which break
without qualified medical and psychological help from outside
If you try to imagine
codependency as a graph, you get a sine wave, then leaving
in negative emotions (booze, beating, scandals), the rising
in the positive (sober intervals, when an alcoholic trying to smooth
and somehow compensate for the physical and psychological damage caused
their loved ones).
The most interesting thing that can be co-dependent
to arrange a self-criticism sessions desperate, but if the criticism comes
from the outside, may be unmotivated outbursts of irritability or even
aggression. They also formed a paradoxical reaction to the praise or
compliments - people are learning adequately take them, there
Only the deepening of guilt.
Codependency seek to control
and paint the behavior of all members of the family, believing that they know better,
how to act in any given situation.
this pattern of behavior encourages the drinker is not to think about the treatment,
Conversely, it feels and understands that almost always, in any
the situation will one way or another to beg forgiveness. Dialing
some positive points, alcoholic and certainly would lead slips
in the breakdown of their co-dependent ones. Continue like this can sufficiently
long - depending on the state of health of the drinker, as well as reserve
patience and physical health of his relatives. Outcomes can also be
vary, but they all have a negative connotation.
In this way,
any disease of pathological addiction - whether it's alcoholism,
drug addiction or gambling - destroying not only the identity of the
patient. All life is dependent preoccupied with thoughts about alcohol, ocherenoy
"Dose" or the slot machines. Gradually mirror
a reflection of the disease in relatives, and the wife, mother, girlfriend, sister or
brother begin compulsively try to put the patient under their behavior
control, in all spheres of life.
Is there a way out of this
There is. It is complicated and long, need the help of a therapist,
and the whole family will be involved in the treatment. Nevertheless,
a qualified person able to cope with such a situation.
Help may also have specialized programs "Anonymous
alcoholics ", designed to work precisely with relatives drinkers.
easier not to enter into a similar situation, than from it selected exactly
as well as any disease is easier to prevent than to cure. And, again,
It requires competent psychotherapeutic help. Turning
behind it at an early stage, it is possible not only to prevent
catastrophe in the family, but, under the guidance of a doctor, to develop
right tactics behavior. The joint efforts of all members of the family can
create such an atmosphere in the family, when the drinker a man indeed
I want to get rid of the addiction.