The longevity of our parents largely depends on their mental equilibrium. In old age, much perceived differently, and stress proceeds more hard. It is important to give old people feeling comfort and security. Simple Tips Read in this article
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It is no secret that for many people relationships with their elderly relatives represent a certain problem. What is the reason for this phenomenon how much the fatal is this situation and what each of us can take to form healthy elderly people?
One of the most urgent needs of older people is the need for communication. The old people often have a suspicion that they are excluded from family life. They can even begin to seem to seem to hide something from them, talking to their back. To avoid unnecessary suspicions, it is very important to create such an atmosphere around old people so that they do not feel in information vacuum. To do this, it should be accepted as often as possible with them, talking about your even small things. A large number of «Little News» Looks at the old people a sense of active life filled with a large number of events. And just like you try to tell the child some funny episode, so for the old man you need to save all the time «his» news.
Old people are very important to give food for the mind to slow down the process of aging. It is noticed that people engaged in intellectual labor (for example, scientists) often demonstrate the wonders of longevity and the clarity of the mind until the last days. Moreover, according to some observations, the regular solution of ordinary crosswords and puzzles significantly improves the brain activity of old people and even to some extent contributes to life expectancy.
For people of old age, it is especially important that they are considered with them. Therefore, it follows as often as possible to ask their opinions and ask them to. Thus, we give to understand what we rely on their knowledge and life experience. A little warning - do not turn it into the game or formality, just define the sphere in which an aging person is most competent to follow his recommendations with a clean soul.
Some older people resemble children in a transitional age with their stubbornness, lack of logic, reluctance to recognize the obvious, to compete with the fact that they are simply. Try to realize that this is not whims, but age features.
Special extracts will be needed if a person in age is used to command. In communicating with such a type of personality, it is necessary to work out flexible tactics - with part «orders» Actively agree and a long time to thank for the smart advice, to try to simply try from part of the problems, and everything else to do the way you consider it necessary - without comments, long discussions or justification.
In case you do not agree with something with the solution of your parents regarding them directly, do not resort to scandals, moral pressure, psychological violence. Use a better solid word that is told by a calm tone, or an explanation - why it is not necessary to come. Do not play out in cases where it comes to paranoid suspicion, pathological storage or hysterical social activity. Emphasize at the same time that they are entitled to decide how to act in one case or another. Old people just like children full of contradictory feelings: they strive to feel care, protection and at the same time - freedom! Therefore, they often rebelliously and arrive in advance only in order to prove their independence. As in relation to adolescents, in this kind of situations will have to simply shift themselves responsible for their life, but always to be close to help and inshet.
Another, quite applicable strategy for a decent person against elderly relatives can be this - to forgive, forget, focus on the sense of duty, regardless of someone's personal qualities.
If you live with your elderly parents, remember, many people of their age are accustomed to much and hard to work. It is especially difficult for them to adapt to changes in their body and accept the fact that much they just do not have enough strength and health that they can no longer be as before, helping the family. Therefore, it is necessary to carefully consider simple family responsibilities for the old man and settlements. This will create a feeling of demand. Best emphasize the attention of the family on the fact that it is the grandmother or grandfather to make this job better than everyone, and not on the fact that they are simply not capable of.
Remember that the greatest tension in the relationship causes uncertainty and waiting, so some of your personal problems are better to tell when they are solved. In the stories about yourself, try to avoid excessive dramatization of events, simplify the situation, set it out in an old man shaped. However, do not create an artificial atmosphere of idyll around the old men. Adhere to the Golden Mid: Best if they continue to live in the real world, but do not focus on the negative sides of being.
The objective process in the personality of an elderly person is the fall in self-assessment, bound primarily with the loss of previous social roles (for example, before your father was a leader, the fate of many people depended on its decisions, the effectiveness of production processes was dependent, and now he is only a pensioner capable of Only to choose own solutions).
To compensate for a person to his social loss, you need a very simple thing - it is more often a complimination that will help your older love to believe in your need. Remember when you last told my mother that she looks good, his mother-in-law - that she has a wonderful taste, his father, that it is interesting to talk about politics. With grandma tell your daughter, that she is beauty and mind all in her.
In communication with the old men, try to find examples of their goodwill, generosity, manifestations of humor, altruism, and then, for example, in communication with someone on the phone loud (in order to hear your relatives) tell you what wonderful qualities your father or mother have (thereby inspired they have the presence of these qualities). You will see that literally after a few months of such hypnosis, your old men really communicate to these qualities.
And if at the same time your warm attitude towards older family members will sometimes purchase and the material form - touch, stroking, kiss or small, but valuable for this particular person a gift (turning newspaper, favorite cookies for tea, indoor plant, etc.), then for the future your relationship can not be worried.
