Childbirth immediately causes a storm of emotions inall family members. At first, the newborn enjoyed increased attention. Over time the situation comes to normal: parents, other children, grandparents returned to their usual affairs and duties. We need to change family life, all learned to live in a new way. However, if the child has mental retardation, as in your case, the tension in the family grows, and all its members need help to take such a child, understand his needs and the demands that his appearance imposed on the family as a whole. "I remember when our pediatrician told us that Carmen Down syndrome, then we immediately seized a lot of emotion, and we asked ourselves many questions such as:" What exactly is Down syndrome? What is Trisomy 21? "These feelings and issues we have shared with many parents, as comprised in the group mezhdusemeynoy support new parents. I began to feel a detachment from normal life, from family relationships, from social contacts. It took more or less prolonged period of time, that this deep wound healed.
Birth of a child with mental retardation - isnot a reason for the family to give up their social and professional interests. Sometimes the birth of such a child in the mother may feel a moral debt, forcing her to stay home and care for the child, not being able to go to work. But it can be argued that, as a rule, in infancy, children with mental retardation do not need more attention than normal children. And if the mother has a need or whether it wants to continue to work outside the home, then it should not be a reason to deny yourself this. She can arrange her child as any other kid at that age, in the nursery, where it would be appropriate for the care, charge or care of him to one of the neighbors. It is important that each member of the family, as far as possible, continue to go about their daily business.
In other cases, the doctor takes months or years,to establish the diagnosis of the child. In this situation, a family team begins a very difficult period. We must try to frequent medical consultation, verification and analysis as small as possible broke the usual life of the family, especially if you have other children who may feel deprived of attention. When, finally, the diagnosis of mental retardation is already installed, along with the primary shock reaction described above, parents sometimes feel some relief after learning the truth. From this point it is already possible specifically to help the child in its development without further doubt, hesitation and procrastination. But we must never forget that this child - invalid - such as a family member, like everyone else, with the same as that of others, rights and responsibilities. So we have to take it in the family. When a child with mental retardation is getting older, it requires more attention, patience and understanding on the part of each member of the family, as it is longer than usual acquires elementary skills. It is time to go to school, and parents need to find in their area suitable college to collect the child to school, as do the parents of other children, take them to school or to the door of the school bus.
Once you really learn to acceptyour disabled child for what he is, the stress is reduced. For many parents, the appearance of a disabled child gave rise to the fact that these parents have become more aware of themselves, to communicate more with loved ones; to the fact that they had a desire for mutual assistance, they were able to assess people regardless of their intellectual abilities or success in life, and have great respect for all people.
For the family
To begin with, the family - a family, nottreatment center. Some parents, driven by a burning desire to overcome the disability of the child, in addition to their regular duties, impose on themselves and their loved ones a lot of additional concerns about his treatment. Thus, they damage not only their own interests but also the interests of other family members. It happens that the mother or father of a child with mental retardation feels that this child as if it displaces family. In other children the impression that they can not go for a walk with your friends, because "exercise" with a brother or sister is constantly taken away from them a lot of time. And they suddenly begin to feel helpless, that hinders their right relationship with the baby, who, as it were the culprit of this feeling. Cliff Cunningham in his book "Down's syndrome, an introduction for parents," points out: "We have not seen a significant shift from intensive exercise, except that for the production of specific behavioral responses, which require these activities. Also, we have not seen cases where the baby remained a lifelong disability if not getting enough stimulation during the first months or the first year of life. "
In family life, it is important to maintain a balance betweenthe need to "stimulation" (exercise, rehabilitation programs) of a child with mental retardation and the daily needs of other family members. That child will receive less in some special classes, he will be able to more than make up in a happy and balanced family, where his love and understand. "My excessive worries turned into custody, because of which I can not fully educate you as a person. I say: "It is necessary to you ?!" Of course, I need you! But I would like you to be the other, and it is very difficult, even with my patience. I do not want to lead you by the hand and hold your hand in mine, to give you confidence, but to teach you to walk by yourself. However, I always pretended that I was ashamed when I felt satisfied just because others do not notice your disability. "
The birth of a child with a disability should not be a causedivorced spouses. Despite the fact that a child with mental retardation creates tension between them, but if the couple truly love each other and are able to express their feelings, then, of course, that this situation is still more united them and they will support each other, to work together care for, educate and help the child. If their relationship fail if it is difficult to find a common language with each other if their love is gradually transformed into hatred, then the crisis easily goes into the final break after a child is diagnosed, which is grounds for divorce. This is the easiest excuse.
For the decision to have more children
Birth of a child with mental retardation is notnecessarily implies the rejection of in order to have more children. However, parents do not dare relatively frequent it. In many cases, the decision not to have more children, is dictated by the fear that with the next pregnancy will repeat the same problem. But the worry is unnecessary. Very rarely, Down syndrome is inherited. And such cases are always determined by carrying out a chromosome analysis.
Parents of a child with Down syndrome are nothereditary forms (forms are in 98% of sick children) have a 2% risk to give birth to a second child with the same disease in relation to the general population. As we mentioned above, the percentage of the risk of birth of a child with Down's syndrome among the general population increases with the age of the pregnant woman. This increase in risk is solely the parents who already have a child with a non-hereditary form of Down syndrome. The brothers and sisters of a child with this form of the disease, as well as the rest of the family members do not have an increased risk of having children with Down syndrome. Their risk of exactly the same as that of the general population.
Furthermore, it is possible to establishprenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome. It is set during pregnancy by examining fetal chromosomes are in the amniotic fluid. Amniotic fluid is removed by amniocentesis between 16 and 19 weeks of pregnancy. Amniocentesis - the study of amniotic fluid. Amniocentesis does not increase the risk of miscarriage, as it is performed under ultrasound guidance by an experienced doctor. If the embryo is struck by Down syndrome, parents will only decide whether to keep the pregnancy or have to resort to therapeutic abortion. Amniocentesis is performed in all pregnant women who had a child with Down syndrome, or those who are older than 35 years. Before you make a decision to have more children, it is necessary that the parents received comprehensive medical information, because there are many different possibilities:
In some cases, genetic counseling will tell you what percentage of probability, that the disease may recur in the unborn child.
In others, besides those already mentioned Down syndrome,It can be accurately diagnosed during pregnancy such varieties of mental retardation, such as men's mental retardation due to the instability of the "X" chromosome, or congenital hydrocephalus. Thus, making sure that the embryo is struck by one of these diseases, parents may be able to select, in accordance with existing legislation, whether to keep the pregnancy or require to produce a therapeutic abortion.
There are cases where mental retardationcaused reasons to establish that modern medicine can not. And the doctor will be able to say, what is the degree of risk of its occurrence in your unborn baby. We once again want to remind parents that they are not listened to the opinions and judgments of people who are not professionals, and before taking any decision, apply for the necessary information to the experienced. Once you are well informed about how to have or not have children, the final decision will be yours. Nobody is obliged to solve it for you!
Each child, regardless of whether thehis mental retardation or not, is unique. All children need love and acceptance, so that they can develop their own positive image. Our self-image depends to a great extent on how we are perceived by the people, the views, which we cherish. If these people treat us in an amicable and heart, it means that everything is in order, and we have produced its own positive image. Similarly, parents can contribute to the development of a child of his own positive image, loving the child for what he is, showing him my love, and noting the successes and achievements, which he does. it is extremely important for a child with mental retardation to the family to be treated with warmth and cordiality.
Most of these children may comeimprovement of the training program of early learning. Professionals should recommend to parents, what kind of stimulation program would be most appropriate in each case. They are also informed of the start of its implementation; on its duration and on the venue. Some exercises for the development of the child is very simple, and can include family games. But to avoid that they were burdensome for parents, as it will damage the good relations of parents and children.
When will the school period, parents needkeep in mind that we now have all private and public colleges have adopted programs for children with special needs. In every school, no matter what you choose, your child will have the attention, he will receive appropriate education and training. This form of education allows children with disabilities to be among healthy children and to learn to communicate with their peers, who also have this or that problem. According to the educational standards of Gipuzkoa, the boy or girl with mental retardation should be trained in how to more healthy environment, that is, in ordinary secondary schools as other children because, although they are much more slowly mastered the material and do not reach the middle class level, but the possession of large skills and learn better being together with peers. A child with learning disabilities may need help if certain school tasks and to adapt school curricula to meet the needs of educational needs.
For this reason, it is necessary that the parents enteredin contact with the Commission on Education of his district, and she was able to determine the level of development and the needs of their son or daughter and to help them as much as possible, choose a suitable school.
In addition to attending school, the child should play,have fun and participate in many other cases. We must not forget that a child with mental retardation also learn by imitating others, and it will be very helpful to talk to other children at home, in the park, in the classroom and outdoors. Keep locked up people with intellectual disabilities - is the best way not to give an opportunity to develop their abilities and at the same time allow the public to continue to treat these people with scorn and reject them.
Like any other kid, the kid with the intellectualretardation must also master the skills of correct behavior, and we need to demand that he behaved appropriately setting. These children are sometimes too stubborn, and to work with them need to exercise patience and tact. The vast majority of these children can gain self-sufficiency skills in personal and social life, which will allow them to develop normally in a normal environment. Excessive opЈka parents, brothers, sisters and nurses will only contribute to greater human dependence with mental retardation from the others and will prevent him from developed these minimum basics of independence and accountability needed to ensure that such a person is able to live a more independent life.
Later, when the child has become an adult,you need to find him a job. People with mental retardation may be normal and with the responsibility to do the work, if it will be adequate to their abilities. Work and earnings, ASIC among other things, will bring them a lot of satisfaction and strengthen their self-esteem.
How will our child? What will be the extent of his mental retardation? How did he become when he grows up? What care will need? ... These questions are the same for all parents of children with mental retardation. They can not be answered at this time.
In the Basque Country since 1960, there are family associations in defense of people with mental retardation.
In it, in addition to assisting all stakeholders infor information, they are given the opportunity to enter into a so-called group of new parents. This is a group of support and mutual aid for parents who have recently learned that their child has mental retardation.
Greater exchange of experience takes place at the entrancemeetings are organized for the admission of new parents. Whenever the Association enters a new family, it can meet there with other parents who have more experience, which will treat it warm and a relative as new members of the Group.
Opening the meeting, among other things,presuppose moral support parents from the "Support Group", specially prepared for this purpose. With the help of these are the new parents of contacts no longer consider myself the most unhappy, the world opens in front of them on the other, light, party. And they understand that it is not as bad as it seemed before.
Exchange of experience, a deep understanding of the situation,occurs at the turn of two realities, old endured and a new light, allows a new family to calm down and do not hesitate and fear to tell their story of a group of parents who have gone through these experiences and that will not only be able to understand everything, but in the early stages to help care child. The experience of these groups gives strength to new parents who have decided to turn toward life.
your child's health can disturb you,especially if the first examination the doctor had been revealed congenital anomalies. Advances in medicine and surgery, in particular, in our time is so impressive that they can be used to eliminate any defects that were previously considered intractable cure. Trust the attending pediatrician, and under his leadership, other doctors will conduct the survey required by your child.