The world has always seemed to me too complicated. I could not understand why people behave in a certain way, and was not in a position to do so to make it look "normal". I'm pretty good at school, but I did not have friends because I did not know how to make them. During the mandatory school events, I sit in the corner, wandering the back streets of his inner world and paying little attention to what is happening around.
I learned not good enough at the university whereHe met his wife. And after graduation he got a job that I really liked. But I still could not shake the feeling that I was not a participant in life, but an outside observer, as if everyone knew huge secret, which is not shared with me.
Two years ago, my wife saw on TVdocumentaries about Asperger's syndrome, and patients in the description immediately recognized me. Suddenly, everything made sense. I realized why I worked so hard given what others are doing on the machine, why I do not understand the thoughts and feelings of other people, why I often feel lonely.
Since that day I have come to grips with the studyof the world. I gradually began to understand the body language and facial expressions of man: before these signals, I simply did not notice it. I read one after the other books about social interaction and gradually developed its own set of rules of communicating with people. Of course, all this gigantic work does not put me on a level with those who do not think about how to start a conversation with a stranger or not to offend the interlocutor, but it became much easier to look "normal" in the eyes of colleagues and friends.
Here is an example. I could never understand how people can maintain a "secular" talk about anything when a call there is no other purpose than to have a good time. It amazes me that two people can easily jump from topic to topic, no one not leading to any logical conclusion. Once I worked on the art of speaking, I was surprised how easy it is!
By studying the characteristics of Asperger's syndrome Ifound that the fact that it seems to me foolish task for most people - hard work. For example, I see the amazing logic of numbers and can effortlessly instantly perform complex mathematical operations, and ordinary people for the same is required in the best case, a sheet of paper, a pen and some time, not to mention how often they are wrong. I can easily teach foreign languages: in addition to his native English, I'm in my 26 years, I know French, German and Russian and teach Dutch and Chinese. Where do I need a few months, the people it takes years and years of hard work.
Now I am very clear that I do not needI pretend that I am just like everyone else, because I'm special. But I can learn how to behave so as not to really stand out from the crowd and do not look "black sheep".
I did not change jobs, but only to go to the officethree days a week. The remaining two days I devote to their studies - decided to get a degree in physics. Education not only gives me a sense of the fullness of life, but also completely satisfies my "abnormal" craving for knowledge.
Most importantly, I realized - I do not needtry to be "like everyone else", I have my own personal development path. I live my life and reach their own success, not comparing yourself with others. Yes, I'm different, and now I like it, because that's what I'm doing and I know makes me me.