They say that a smooth woman who lost all relatives and who did not want to live in the natural disaster, led to one of the Buddhist teachers. Enlightened allowed her to finish her if she finds at least one person of her age, which did not lose any love. Suicide did not happen.
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Nowadays, all experts consider a loss of a loved one (death, a heavy crumpled disease, a love drama, a long forced separation) is the most powerful of the stressors that can experience a person. Universal population and abundance of life collision turns mountain into everyday reality. Unfortunately, we are even getting used to it - as a dirt on the street, drinking mother or a son-two.
However, it is really impossible to get used to any pain. In addition to anxiety and longing, people pursue a painful feeling of guilt (did not agree, did not apologize, did not say goodbye), permanent mental playback of dialogues with gone, uncomfortable dreams. Gradually unbearable neuropsychic tension from a painful disorder turns into an unconscious personal installation - a kind of «Life motto» And begins to rebuild «From the inside» Behavior of the misfortune.
Some are completely refused by most types of activity in type «Having burned on milk -». Some turn their home and themselves in «mausoleum» Idealized past with a complete refusal of ordinary and natural life joys. Someone becomes an envious misanthropom, constantly dissatisfied and even aggressive to the whole surrounding. Many walk along the path of unprofitable self-destruction - alcohol, breaking all the former social contacts («Reminds of non-return»), destructive cults and fanatical mysticism. How to help such people?
Learning sensibly and decent (do not be surprised!) Relationship to losses and first of all to death - the task of several younger generations, however, in the introduction of mental culture in the wide sections of the population, more people will be to treat it without fear and contempt - simply as a result of life, remembering the rows of Ecclesiast: «Death Day is better than a birthday». Understanding this can now share their experiences and feelings with others without unnecessary tragedy and goodness. In such an atmosphere, suffering will not be fixed in a loss for too long, it will build it in its own way and can help you help.
In addition to the good and sensible relationship of others, to help those who survived the superordinary loss are ready to come to the rescue specialists from the network «Phones trust». Telephone communication at the expense «Anonymity» The interlocutors make it easier to speak, share deeply intimate, take advice. If, during the telephone conversation, a person feels intention to continue to work on a problem, he can make an appointment in the following division of the crisis network - Cabinet of medical and psychological assistance. There are a brigade method for psychotherapists, psychologists, social workers. Suffering may pass a series of individual or group psychotherapeutic meetings.
Psychotherapy as art «Useful conversation» Facilitates the natural and psychological flow of the loss reaction (panic - denial - the search for a compromise - soothing), «Cleans» Its from secondary and not always faithful conclusions, allows you to familiarize yourself with the experience of other people and get «feedback».
Sometimes actually psychotherapeutic intervention is not enough, and then the course of treatment is proposed in a crisis hospital (clinic of neurosis) or observation of the psychotherapist (psychiatrist) at the place of residence (district polyclinics and psycho-neurological dispensaries). At the same time, psychopharmacological treatment is also connected to psychotherapy (antidepressants and anti-leaving drugs).
An important healing factor in hospitalization is the fence of a person from the traumatic external situation constantly reminding the inconsistent misfortune. In any case, this appeal will be shown: if you are noons and lonely, if you survived several losses for a short time, if you want to drown a mountain in Donman, if you don't want to live at all if the pain does not let you go more than half a year or only increases with time.
It is difficult, it is almost impossible to give a universal recommendation to the migrant - too much deep personal and intimate is concluded in each loss. However, as always, a powerful source of support for suffering is proven value of values - world religions, classical literature and music, creative self-expression (diary, drawing, poems, needlework) and Nature Communication.
The main healing factor will be the presence of a number of interlocutor (whether it is a friend, a doctor or a clergyman) - tolerant without fanaticism, heartless without sorry and sensible without cynicism. You are not alone on this light, and you have the right to help.
