There are people who look sad since childhood, do not trust the world around people, do not believe in themselves, they consider themselves not good enough, and even bad, unworthy love, that is, depressiveness is their usual condition and they do not know what you can live, feel different.
Content
Without going into the subtleties of metapsychology, it can be said that the cause of such perception itself and the world are unsatisfactory attitude with their mother or man, its replacement, which a person survived in early childhood. Due to various reasons: own depression, severe experiences at this time, strong alarm, and T.D. Mother could not be quite susceptible to the emotional needs of his child, respond adequate to his needs. And the mother for a child in infancy is the whole world, the relationship that is installed from his mother is to some extent the prototype of all further relations. Regular experience in understanding and adequate satisfaction of the needs, both physical and emotional, forms a picture of the world of understanding who can trust. And vice versa, insufficiency of such experience becomes evidenced by the fact that the world is a cruel, a misunderstanding, frustrating, trust him can not. But at the same time, this leads to the fact that the child considers itself not good, unworthy of love. There is another source of this «Poency». Frustration (disappointment, causing suffering) causes resentment, anger, but in the situation described, the child does not dare to express these feelings of his mother, fearing her to upset, even destroy, he fears that he will stop love, punish, Mom will disappear. Then this anger and hatred is not manifested internally, but goes inside, on itself, which leads to the perception of herself as a bad.
If the child really loses someone from his parents as a result of a divorce, death, it automatically gives rise to confidence in it that this misfortune happened because of him, because he was not good enough, did something bad. Therefore, when such situations do not discuss with the child, even with a small one, he will explain everything to himself and then all his life will live with the unconscious feeling of guilt.
What relationship we set with people how we choose the objects of love, the models of the relationship that we absorbed with Mother's milk play a very big role. For example, perceiving yourself bad, a person will try to prove everyone and to prove that he is good, to seek him to be appreciated, loved. He needs a partner who will highlight his narcissistic wounds. But, at the same time, the unknowingly this person can find such partners who will appreciate him, throw, thereby confirming his badness.
Such mechanisms operate and depressed. In this case, there is fixation in an early relationship, not satisfactory enough. Depression is always associated with the experience of loss, loss: a loved one, relationship with him, as well as with any disappointment, the crash of hopes, illusions. In all these cases, a person loses something that he was very emotionally tied. If the experience of early relationships with the mother was durable, not too disappointed, then in these difficult life situations, a person is experiencing sadness, he flashes, mourns a loss, but then directs his interest, love for something new. In case of depression, this does not happen. Here we see the inability to divide, let go. Although in the reality of this person no longer, he, as it should continue to exist inside a person. Internal dialogues continue, reproaches, accusations that are sent to themselves. It seems that everything happened through the fault of the person himself, he is bad, did something wrong, it may be necessary to take a blame. The main symptom of depression is a bad mood; There is no mood, setting up anyone and anything, cannot be loved, there is no desire to establish connections, nothing causes interest. This is explained by the fact that the human heart is not free, it continues to love the object who left him.
Mania is an attempt to draw depression as opposed to, so mania is protection against depression. It is characterized by a triumph. I am above the object when I have no longer depend on the love of the object. The man then feels its omnipotence, the ability to manage and subjugate the object, from which, and from the love of which he previously depended.
