After the tragedy: return the child carelessness

Survive tragedy - does not mean about it

I rode recently in the bus. Someone has burst on the road with a characteristic tire crackle. Stretched everything, and one woman began the most real hysteria. She was disappeared by water, said something, the girl extended ice cream, and the passenger could not calm down...

Maybe this is an extreme case. However, why we are internally straining with every unforeseen stop of the train in the subway, let go of children to school with fear, we rent tickets? The answer to the surface: this life went, she does not spare us, and the events of the last months can be more worse to get afraid of truly. Catastrophes, military operations, interethnic conflicts, explosions, terrorist attacks, loss of loved ones... And you catch yourself thinking about the fact that you can be on the site of four hundred Beslan school hostages.

About this tragic event, as well as about explosions of houses in Moscow, terrorist attacks in the Moscow metro and on the streets of the city, it is said and shown on television channels already a lot. But problems are left. And one of the most basic - psychological rehabilitation of children survived by tragedy. Today we will talk about how to defeat stress, how to help children overcome fear and what experience can be learned for the future.

I appeal to Yulia Belyova - a children's psychologist, a leading specialist of one of the psychological centers.

- Some of the courage to say that in psychological
Rehabilitation need mostly adults. What about children? They say, already through
half an hour turn on in games and forget about everything in the world. Is it so on
really and are there any features of the reaction of the children's psyche on
Emergency situation?

- This statement is rooted incorrectly. Psychological memory in children is present in the same way as in adults. Just the kids instinctively displaced from their memories of dramatic situations for them.

One of the main features of the children's response to stress - self-realization. If the child has a healthy enough, he will quickly quickly start in any way to bring himself out of stress independently. For example, there will be a lot of talking about the topic of what happened to him, play with my relatives, to portray on paper. It is worth noting that the younger than the child, the brighter this feature is manifested. Older children subject to social convention, less prone to such splashing of negative emotions.

Another characteristic features of the child's reaction to stress - Autization. That is, care from reality. «The world around the world is dangerous. I do not want to go there», - The child instinctively makes such conclusions and hides in its shell. Unlike adults, children are more emotional, they have not so developed ego, so they are more difficult for them to rationally comprehend the situation. As a result - departure from the outside world.

- For what signs, parents can determine this condition of the child, because some children in the life of Tikhoni, not prone to splash out emotions? Sits herself playing, reads. Do not boogan. So everything is in order?

- Indeed, the child can continue to play favorite toys, communicate with the surrounding people, but it becomes less emotional. During the game or conversation, he would not hear his peers and practically does not look into the eyes, and almost all his free time devotes drawing some meaningless sticks. Meaningless repeating actions should alert parents.

Stages of traumatic reactions in children

Chatting with a psychologist, unwittingly mentally returning to the fate of children affected by Beslan. I really want to hope that the process of self-realization does not delay. However, a lot of time passed, but almost all children, regardless of age, still repeat in conversations with doctors, relatives and journalists similar in the sense of the phrase. «Why did I go to this school?» - now and then ask a four-year-old boy. Two headset girlfriends are crushed: «Going along the way to the store, and then changed my mind and ran to school. But they could be late and would not go there».

Just - there. Have you come from Beslan, this word does not require explanations. «I can not even believe that half the class is not in the world. To the place, I do not approach more than ten meters», - These are the words of ten-year-old George. Infinite playing of the tragic situation psychologically explained. After all, wounds - both physical and spiritual - are not quickly delayed. And yet, with such a painful injury, there is a danger of the transition of the acute form of stress into chronic. There is a so-called post-traumatic disorder.

Psychiatre scientists were conducted studies of the health of children who survived the traumatic events for the psyche (natural disasters, technogenic accidents, terrorist attacks). It was shown that traumatic reactions in children in the first period after a disaster passed several stages.

• Shock stage. The child has a sense of confusion, helplessness, panic state. He can not comprehend the incident.

• The step of memories - the evaluation of the occurrence, the denial of what happened, increases the anxiety, panic states.

• Post travery stage. At this stage, phobias are observed (the fear of the loss of loved ones, the fear of parting, the fear of death); Symptoms of psychosomatic origin (enuresis, convulsive states, sleep disorder, headaches); Affective disorders (depression, low self-esteem, feeling of guilt).

For example, about 40% of children who witnessed the destruction of the dam in Buffalo Bay in 1979, showed symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder 2 years after the catastrophe. Approximately 30% of children who were in the epicenter of Hurricane Andrew, the symptoms of severe post-traumatic stress disorder were discovered. Approximately 12% of children have preserved these symptoms after about a year after the disaster. Especially stable turned out to be repeated experiences and figurative recreation of the picture of the incident.

Of course, the reaction and rehabilitation of the child are largely dependent on its individual characteristics. Different children have different thresholds of sensitivity to injury. And yet, specialists have been developed by certain therapy, helping children to cope with their feelings and reactions after experienced stress.

Who will help our children

Here we will talk not only about the help of specialists. After all, there are still relatives of victims next to children. And do not forget that adults are tested by terrible stress and huge emotional tension. I ask again to help me answer this question my interlocutor Yulia Belov.

- How to mitigate the psychological injury as much as possible?

- In the first stage of the traumatic reaction, when everything is still too acute, the child needs warm emotional contact, no need to ask him about the experience, memories for him are too painful. It is important to create a psychological security atmosphere for a child. To this end, the first thing any parent can do is to feel that he is near. Conversation, body contact, heat feeling. Even if there will be no words, but any touch gives the child a sense of security.

Secondly, it is very important not to start looking for those perpetrators in what happened. After all, and so that survivors after such drama there is a very long time a feeling of guilt «Why I asked my grandmother with a brother to go to school with me? They would live now. And in general, if not the first of September, everything would be fine». It is important in conversation not to raise these topics and switch the child to other thoughts.

However, the denial of danger will only strengthen the child's concern. Children perceive very clearly and understand the reaction of their parents. Therefore, parents just need to share with children thoughts that bother them. «Yes, it's too hard for me, hurts, I'm terribly worried, but I'm with you, and we will cope together». No need to say that everything is fine. This installation puts the wall between the child and the parent. The kid reads a sense of loneliness, guilt. «Everyone is good, it means that I am so bad?». The child closes, which prevents further conclusion from stress.

Do not delay the problem

- Before that, we talked about the first days, weekly after experienced, however, very often spiritual experiences due to individual, age features and external factors will develop into deep stress. And then without the help of specialists just can not do. This is true?

- Indeed, it is very important to identify signs of post-traumatic disorder (PSTR). If more than a month passes, and the child continues to suffer with memories, loses the situation again, his fears are being pursued, he becomes autistic, he needs urgent help.

Another manifestations of chronic form of stress - psychosomatic disorders. That is, the child begins to hurt. It may be an ordinary cold, but sometimes more serious diseases are manifested - hearty, gastric.

With such a delayed response, the task of a psychologist is to help children get rid of fears.

- Psychologists insist on the discussion of tragic events in order to withdraw these fears from the subconscious. Many children who have been in an emergency say literally the next phrase: «I reluctance remember». Can not the immersion in the memories harm?

- It is known that the fact of the verbalization of experiences and fears in itself (crossing them into a verbal form) has a therapeutic impact. But again, it is very important that the child himself want to tell about his fears, and this will happen only if it is complete confidence in the psychotherapist. When he realizes that he is there, inside, heavier to keep these experiences than to throw out, then you can start a conversation, and subsequently - to work with the experiences themselves.

Who are they «Secondary sacrifices of disasters»

As many parents tell, after the seizure of hostages in Beslan, children living far from those places are worrying and anxious. Even such a term appeared - secondary victims of the disaster.

This is a concrete case: «After taking the hostages in Beslan, my 9-year-old daughter can not come to himself. Seen on TV had a strong impact on her. She became closed, indifferent to the games, refuses to go to school. I wanted to talk to her to figure out what exactly she was afraid, but her husband believes that it was better not to remind her about what he saw. He believes that it is better to distract her, and gradually the girl will not forget. Which of us is right?»

- The terrorist act is an emergency that has a strong
traumatic effect on the state of the psyche. And if a person learned about
happening indirectly, for example, through media
information?

- Of course, the child sees what happens around him, and to hide the information from him pointless. The child goes to school, hears conversations, watching TV, worries everything seen and heard. And I will not say that it is good, but it is natural. If it goes on, say, a week or two, then this is normal. Again, the deadlines are important during which children's fears and unrest are continuing.

Here is enough parental participation to survive stress. It is necessary to show that you understand the child, you understand his feelings, experiences. If these reactions are delayed and the child continues not to sleep at night and is afraid to go to school, then here, of course, I need a psychologist's help. Indeed, often such a reaction is provoked not so much seen how many existing inner fears. And if it is not a specialist in timely assistance, the problem will go deep into.

Heals not only time

Time cures. Communication with close attentive people too. It's time to talk about the receptions and methods of children's rehabilitation. Specialists offer various options. Drawing fear. Writing a story on the topic of fear. Using Game and Stage. GestaltTeepia (the child tells the psychologist that he dreamed, and the psychologist asks to show that he had dreamed, with the help of movements, actions, toys, masks, plasticine). One way or another, all the techniques are aimed at ensuring that the child began to relate to relate to his fear, he saw him from, «Troogal» him as something real.

Being visiting the specialists of the psychological center, of course, interested in Yulia, what basic methods it uses in his work.

- Of course, it all depends on age and from a particular fear. Still, most often use the drawing. For kids, it is generally very familiar and organic occupation. With older children a little more difficult, they can refuse to portray something: «I do not know how I will not succeed». And yet, with the adjacent contact, adolescents also respond to such a study of fear. The child depicts what he is afraid, he can do it repeatedly, while adding other paints into the drawing, changing it, making it more and more optimistic. In the end, fear ceases to scare him.

In addition to the drawing, it may be a modeling and puppet dramatization. These classes are convenient because children lose the same situation several times. It helps the child to shoot emotional tension and makes it possible to change the situation, play it together with the heroes and come to the optimistic final.

The most important thing is since the first lesson, to provide the child to the most fear on paper or in the game. He chooses those paints, those toys that currently most reflect his inner state. For example, a child himself determines the toy that looks like his fear in the dark. His fear becomes certain, he keeps him in his hands. My task is to control the situation to remove anchor from his past. Well, of course, constant verbal communication, conversations. Only when establishing trust contacts, all therapeutic measures will be most effective.

In conclusion, I would like to say that any help is effective if it is timely. If you have doubts, go to a psychiatrist with a child or not, then it is better to be restrained and go, than to let it be done and then treat already chronic disorder.

Anna Zhukova talked «Help your child forget this nightmare».