Why do children take someone else's and not always repent in the deed? How to prevent cases of children's corners?
Which of us, being a child, did not drag a little one in a wallet from my wallet or did not pick up someone else's trinket, because it was impossible to resist temptation? But the fact that we ourselves have done many years ago, we tend to forget or consider insignificant. Whereas if our own children come across theft, we beat anxiety and think that growing a criminal element.
Causes of childhood
If you try to conditionally determine the general laws of childhood, there are three main reasons for the fact that children take someone else's. (Important: we are talking about children of senior preschool and junior and middle school age, and not about kids, whose moral principles are not yet formed.)
Desire to own
Even if the child knows what to assign someone else's — bad, he does not always control the impulse to become the owner of the desired.
Vitya (12 years) could not resist and secretly ate a friend's chocolate. Justified the boy himself by the fact that a friend and every day eats in chocolate, and therefore he will survive the day without her, and he always has money — Buy a new one. And the viti money never happens: parents give him cash only on concrete things — give a teacher for a tour or pass once a month for school breakfasts. Yes, and it's a shame never to try such a chocolate, because the friend never shares sweet, and mom against independent shopping «harmful».
A child who makes such theft always finds a logical explanation to his act, since the desire to have an overshadows fear of exposure. Typically, such stories stop after catching at the crime scene and a public shame test. But it happens that no, about it next.
Lack of emotional contact
Children who find emotional response in the family may unconsciously start stealing, most often in loved ones. To the question of why he steals things or money, the child often honestly responds «Do not know». He really does not understand why: Often these are children from secured families who have a decent amount for pocket expenses.
And the Larchik opens simply: like theft — This is a cry of help, an unconscious request for adults to pay attention to the feelings and experiences of the child. The child just wants him to love him. Unfortunately, the way to say the child chooses «immoral», and parents, without having achieved sincere repentance from the child (and he really does not understand what he made a very bad act), he is branded by an insensitive monster.
Search for your place in the team
Among the causes of childhood, the third is the third: the desire of a child to asserts in the peer environment. True: if a child has difficulty establishing contacts, if it is an outsider or just shy, if his social and financial situation makes him white crow, he will look for ways to become important and necessary. Even if he has to steal money from parents or other children money to treat classmates on them or buy itself the same things as everyone.
The origins of such thefts there in the family. If the parents do not notice that the child has difficulty in school or in the courtyard, and do not help him cope with them, he invents his ways, what can.
Recipe: make a person decent
Baby Affairs — This is extremely rarely a medical diagnosis by Kleptomania, requiring access to a psychiatrist. In 95% of cases, this is a problem in relations with the most close people.
In fact, all three reasons are treated with one pills: attention. Only under attention is meant not on duty annoying question «How are things at school?», And the knowledge that the child feels and thinks about what dreams that he bothers him.
If the parents of Viti knew about how the boy is insulting not to have pocket money, when they always have his friends, what feelings he causes a chocolate, which a friend will fly daily, they may think about what to solve the problem very simple. In such a case, it is not always helping to catch a child to catch him by hand. The child still does not have the money he can manage independently, will be twisted and cunning, with time, learning to steal not only chocolates, but also bills.
The cause of children's corners — Always coldness and alienation in communicating with the neighbors. Loneliness, the impossibility to entrust oneself and getting the adoption pushing the child to extreme measures. And just need — Be interested in the life of a child. But not formally, but sincerely, with warmth. Only — be in love.