I grew up in Jackson, Mississippi. I have always been drawn to the white people, and it seemed natural to me, so I had the same skin color. At that time, both my cousins gave dark-colored dolls for Christmas, I gave the dolls with peach and cream color leather. One day during recess in elementary school is one of the black girls told me that I can not play in her company, since my doll - the wrong color. Later, I realized that in fact it meant my wrong skin color.
Like a doll, I had blonde hair andgreen eyes. I was the only one of its kind. I - African-American woman with albinism, that is, in my skin almost no dark pigment. Albinism - a recessive characteristic, ie, both parents must have a special gene, the child was born an albino. This is quite a common phenomenon - one of the 17 000 children born albino.
Mom was just 16 when she gave birth to me. She made every effort to protect me, but still, I soon learned that it is not like the others. Wherever we have not been, I caught myself in the gazes. On the faces of the people could read the same question: "Is it really her daughter?"
Mum different practical turn of mind. She was more concerned by the fact, as if the sun's rays harm my cause if I stay in the sun. The complete absence of melanin in the skin means that it can not burn and burns under the influence of sunlight. So mom constantly daubed me with sunscreen tion to the head and forced to wear a panama as well as possible, I had more time in the shade.
When I was in fourth grade, my mother wrotea note to the teacher to release me from the "Day of Sport", but I gave it to the teacher. On the contrary, I spent the whole day playing in the hot sun. When I after school got in the car, my mother noticed that my face turned red. I tried to lie, but the face and body continued to redden and blister. I did not go to school for a week because she was very sick.
About self-esteem and others
In the past, the problem of racial MississippiAccessories are a very acute. Black and white almost did not communicate and do not communicate with each other. So, I felt like I was out of place either in one or in the other group. In high school, I have earned the respect of my white friends his intelligence and wit. I picked her class. But I was isolated from social life. Nobody wanted to talk with me after school, and all quickly tries to get away from me when I asked: "What are your plans for this weekend," Classmates quickly come up with some stupid excuse. My black friends respectfully treated me in school, but when he saw me in some other place, for example, at the rink or at the mall, shied away and pass me by.
Black man could invite a girl on whiteBall, but to invite a black girl who looks like a white - was a completely different story. One day in class black guys asked if I already have someone invited to the prom. I replied that I was going to go out there alone. Then one of them giggled and said with a grin: "Who to invite this!" In the end, I stayed at home and did not go anywhere. In retrospect, I can not believe what has been intimidated to the point that she decided not to go on your own prom ..
But, at some point, I decided to express theirimage with ringlets - traditional African hairstyles. I change it once a week, each time creating a new image. The feeling of being unable to do anything with my skin color, I have such hair and the right to do with them whatever I want, it gives me a feeling of satisfaction.
I also continue to work on their self-esteem. I'm trying to be strong, constantly smiling. Yet at the sight of the girls with a beautiful chocolate skin color gives me a feeling of envy. My last boyfriend made me feel unique, one of a kind - my albinism and the uniqueness of this drove him crazy, and it gave me confidence. The man who would be my husband, to be intrigued by me. Perhaps I want to get married to an African-American, even in the knowledge that my children will have a different, not like my skin color. But still, I would want my husband to check on the presence of particular gene. Nevertheless, I am satisfied with myself. But I did not want anyone to order by that I myself had to go.